Where Is Everyone?
by nedthejanitor
Summary: Sesshomaru is the last man on earth. Will he cope? REVISED ON JANUARY 12th, 2011
1. Where

**Disclaimer: Okay, say this in a retard voice: _Meeee noooo oooowwwwnnn Innn yooououuouuur yaahshshsssshhuuuuuhhuhhhh? (Translation: I don't own Inuyasha.)_**

**I hope anyone who has read this before the edit will enjoy the new out-of-script version. If not, well, hope you saved the other one on your documents.**

It seemed just like any other day in the feudal era. The scenery was marked with pretty trees, green grass, squares of water, blood everywhere, festering unburied corpses laying in totally random places, the silent constant realization that, unless you're a very powerful demon, you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of living your whole life. All in all, purely typical stuff.

Until that horrible day occurred.

Now, Sesshomaru had just gone through a typical night with Jaken and Rin and that big ass Ah-Un horse thing that tags along with them for some inexplicable reason. Quite a jolly little soiree, since lately, Sesshomaru's group hasn't run across anybody threatening. Of course, being the strongest demon this side of whatever side of Japan this cartoon is in. Still, you'd think that, sometime or another, they would've run across Inuyasha's group. Sesshomaru honestly didn't care at all, though. What does he care about?

Nothing. He's a bad ass, and you know it, so shut up.

Anyways, the night went on as usual. Walking, stopping, walking, stopping, blah, yack, wing, dang, donkey, dingey. You get it. The group finally stopped for the night to sleep. Of course, since Sesshomaru is such a bad ass, all he did was stand on the very edge of a cliff and stare at the moon, contemplating things and stuff.

For 8 hours.

In the cold-ass wind.

Alone.

Of course, since Sesshomaru is such a bad ass, his demon skin is cold resistant.

Sometimes.

But that's not what this is about. Anyways, Sesshomaru stood his bad ass there the whole 9 hours. He finally decided to go back to where his two compatriots were sleeping, wake them up, and start walking around aimlessly again in the hopes of running across Inuyasha and the gang and being a part of the main plot again. But when he got there, Jaken and Rin weren't there! Sesshomaru decided they must have gotten up to go get a drink, or use the tree, or something. He went to the water to wait for them, since they weren't at the water either. After about an hour, they still hadn't shown up. Neither had anybody, for that matter. Of course, since Sesshomaru was such a bad ass, he could care less, and he will.

He was getting rather impatient after another 20 minutes of waiting, so he decided to fly around and search for them. He covered a lot of ground, and still hadn't seen a thing. No one. No animals, no people, no demons, not even so much as a goddamn insect.

Where was everyone at?

Now, this is about the time when a pathetic human would get in the fetal position, suck their thumb, bawl and squall, and if this were an angst fic, slit their wrists and OD on drugs.

Not Sesshomaru, the bad ass. No sir, he just walked around as usual, with nobody around. He wasn't lonely, misanthropes don't do wussy crap like get lonely. Emotions, my friends, are for girls and little girly men who soil their nappies and have their emotional mommas wipe it up. Bad ass-Sesshomaru didn't do that shit (HA HA GET THE JOKE?). Sesshomaru went the whole day, or two hours if you want to get technical, not giving a emotional rat's momma-wiped ass where Rin and Jaken were.

After all, there were plenty of things one could do as the sole inhabitant of an entire country. Why, one could read a good-sized novel, or contemplate the beauty of the night sky, or master complex algebra. Perhaps Sesshomaru could finally have enough peace and quiet to finish that utopian society he had been working on in his own head since he was a small child. Hell, think of how many animes one could watch without the trials and tribulations of life with other people getting in the way! No more Inuyasha, no more Jaken, no more Naraku...

Naraku's face flashed into Sesshomaru's mind.

Then his "Giving A Shit" meter suddenly kicked into "Oh, God!" mode.

"Naraku!" Sesshomaru quietly shouted somehow. "That son of a (INSERT JAPANESE WORD FOR BITCH HERE)."

In his anger, he began flying all over Japan in search of the tyrannical half demon that had been such a pain in the ass since the first time Sesshomaru had ever seen him. He flew and flew and flew and flew and flew until he got tired and nose dived right into a tree.

"Ugh... a bird's nest? What the hell?"

Even though Sesshomaru landed in a giant bird's nest, there was nothing there but an egg. Sesshomaru decided to rest in the nest for a small while until the "Daddy I'm Flying!" meter filled itself up. But, alas, after about 15 minutes, the egg began hatching!

Sesshomaru was going to be a momma.

Of course, since Sesshomaru is such a busy ass, he had no time for silly things like being momma. He would kill the bird, throw it out, and have sleeping room in case he needed it. He walked toward the bird and prepared to strike. Before he could, however, the bird emitted a foul shriek and burst into nothing but a cloud of dust.

"What the hell is going on?" Sesshomaru asked you, the audience. "Where are the people? Where are the beasts of the forest? And, most importantly, do I even need to care?... And why am I asking you? Go read something else."

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Is

**Disclaimer: I don't even know the name of the person who created Inuyasha, so there is absolutely no way that I own Inuyasha. Go to hell and greet your long lost uncle Hitler.**

Sesshomaru sits his bad ass in the bird's nest for a good long while, but gets no sleep, because he doesn't require it at all, you pathetic humans.

Seriously.

Finally, he replenishes his "Daddy, I'm Flying!" meter and heads back out. He flies just about everywhere, yet he can't find any people, or Naraku. He lands at a cliff, because that's where all the dramatic shit happens, and begins thinking. What will he do now? No people, no animals, no insects. If he were a foolish mortal, he would starve to death. But he isn't a stupid, ugly, worthless, foolish, insignificant, dick head, damn mortal, so he doesn't need food. He just sucks the nourishment out of the ground. With his feet. However, the real question is, what will he do to keep himself from losing his mind?

He gets an idea after a bit of waiting around for a cloud to cover the sun. He goes over to a tree and implants his palm into it. Then, he scratches a frowny face into the hand print.

"His name is Teddy Treebark..." explained Sesshomaru. "Stop laughing at me."

Sesshomaru sits next to Teddy for a long time. I mean a VERY long time. We're talking about two days here. That's way too fucking long for someone to just sit next to a tree with a smiley face on it, and I should know, I was that weird kid in elementary school. Occasionally, Sesshomaru says something to his friend and carries on a conversation, because he no longer cares about embarrassing himself. Besides, we all know that, if you start talking to inanimate objects, you grow a scraggly beard overnight.

"Oh, I hope my scraggly beard doesn't come in down to my dick, I really don't want to accidentally pee on it." Sesshomaru says to Teddy, who just nods along... WAIT NO HE DOESN'T! But, anyway, Sesshomaru continues talking to his tree friend now.

"It's embarrassing to even admit, but I've never had a girlfriend before." Sesshomaru admits to his new comrade in arms... or twigs, whatever.

"..." Teddy responds warmly.

"Seriously, I'm not lying. It's pathetic, I know, but I think it's because I keep them at an emotional distance of some sort. I have no idea, after all, I am the perfect husband."

"..."

"I think the problem isn't that females don't like me, it's that I'm just not all that interested in them. Nor am I interested in men. Or, come to think of it, anything at all these days."

"..."

"You know, before the catastrophe happened a few days ago, I was having the strangest feelings. There were times when I wondered if I really had a purpose. I mean, we, that is Jaken, Rin and myself, would spend weeks on end chasing a goal that I'm no longer certain we actually had. That's one positive thing I could actually have said about Inuyasha; at least he had a distinct purpose."

"..."

"There's something else I feel I should tell you." Sesshomaru turns to look at the tree. "Teddy, what I'm about to tell you is going to be absurd, and will make me seem as if I am turning into a lunatic. This is something I would never have thought of discussing with Rin or with Jaken. Sometimes... sometimes I feel as if I'm being watched by something. Not just in Japan, though... something so distant and far away I would have no hope of knowing who they were and what lives they lead. More than just one something... but, indeed, millions and millions of them..."

A leaf falls off of Teddy and drifts into Sesshomaru's hair.

"Here's your leaf, Ted."

Sesshomaru puts it into the handprint over Teddy's mouth.

"Maybe that will shut you up for a second or two, you chatterbox."

As Sesshomaru sits there, he realizes what he is doing and he buries his face into his hands.

"Oh, God, what am I doing?"

He finally gets too bored to even talk, so he abandons his friend and decides he'll just walk.

Nowhere.

Forever.

Sesshomaru walks for hours, wondering what could've happened to all the damn people. He really doesn't care too badly whether they return or not, but the sheer overwhelming curiosity is getting the best of him. The thing that puzzled him most about the whole thing though, is why hadn't HE disappeared?

How come it was every other lifeform except him?

Maybe Sesshomaru's theory that he was the single strongest being alive was true. Perhaps something happened to the air that caused everyone else except him to disentigrate. It would definitely explain the bird in the nest.

But what in the air would just cause everyone else to disappear? And how long would it be before Sesshomaru was weakened to the point where he would be next?

As Sesshomaru layed down that night to just rest, he contemplated his fate. Should he just walk apathetically through life with no direction or purpose? Or should he search for clues that might point to the answer he is looking for? That would certainly give him some purpose in this blank land devoid of anything. But, if he did find the answer, would he just walk in peace for the rest of his long days, or eventually lose his mind from perpetual silence and loneliness?

"And what the hell am I doing laying in rabbit shit?"

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Everyone?

Disclaimer: Inuyasha? Nope, don't own it. Sounds sexy though.

Sesshomaru was out walking around again. It was now four days since everybody in the whole of Japan went missing. He realized it was just Japan when he flew to China and saw that they still had their people. It was just Japan. Sesshomaru was weighing his options on what to do with his life. He figured that, since Japan was out of people, he should go somewhere else. Perhaps that new joint on the other side of the sea that just got discovered. He heard rumors that they didn't take too kindly to demons. It didn't matter to him, though. They couldn't take him down no matter how hard they tried anyways. It was still unnerving, just to think what may have happened to these people.

What if the Shikon Jewel was pieced back together and some demon wished that everyone would be wiped out and, for some strange reason, it had no effect on him? That didn't make sense. Sesshomaru thought that maybe the Shikon Jewel had no effect on him. There was no way he could be certain.

That's what pissed this badass demon lord off the most.

He decided that he would never be able to rest unless he finally found out what annihilated everybody. So the search began. Beneath every rock, inside every tree (except Teddy, because he already inspected him... THOROUGHLY), digging holes to find some foul substance that may have contaminated the water. Nothing came up. Sesshomaru still hadn't stumbled across the one thing potent enough to wipe out an entire nation, save one lonely demon.

Until one day.

Sesshomaru was wandering in a daze, impoverished from having no nutrients for days. He was worried that, if he sucked any "food" from the ground, it may kill him. Sesshomaru didn't rule out the possibility that some form of poison had made it's way into the ground. It was no easy task though, and Sesshomaru knew he would soon die. It was astouding, really, that this is how he would go out. He had always figured he'd either be killed in some sort of epic battle, or he would die of old age, with a motherless child sitting by his side in the year 1973 or someshit. Instead, though, he was pathetically stumbling through an empty land because he was too proud to go ahead and get to another neighboring nation. Now it was too late. He was too tired and weak, he couldn't fly, and his vision was blurred. He decided that he would risk feeding from the ground. If he got poisoned, it would better than dying from starvation. Besides, it would also mean that he found the reason that this overnight genocide happened, and he could finally rest in peace, knowing that he died finally finding the answer to the question that throbbed in his mind for so long.

It worked, Sesshomaru was still alive, and was now restored. Sesshomaru was thankful, in a way, that he would live to go on searching, or finally give up and go to another place. On the other hand, if he'd have been poisoned, it would have at least ended his search with good results. He went on searching, going back to the same old places, same trees, he even went to visit Teddy, who was rotting hecause the hand print REALLY, REALLY HURT. By evening, the sun was setting, and Sesshomaru decided he would cap the day off by going to the ocean and watching the sun reflect off of the water. It usually helped him think in situations where it required him to use his wits. He went to the edge of Japan and looked down at the water.

Why the hell were there a bunch of purple tubes sticking out of the water?

Sesshomaru stared at these tubes, bewildered, but his stunned staring quickly ceased when he realized that these tubes were making sounds. It was as if these tubes were... breathing. He decided to find out for himself by grabbing one of the tubes. He snatched the one closest to him. About three seconds later, someone came out of the water and tried to grab it from him. But he promptly jumped back into the water after making some sort of weird, scrunched-up facial expression. He kept his head over water.

"Are all these tubes in the water being held by people?" Sesshomaru asked, too stunned to be angry yet.

"Yes!" The man responded fearfully "A young girl supplied these tubes for us to breathe with so we could hide."

"Hide from WHAT, may I ask?"

Sesshomaru was pissed off. He almost lost his mind because a bunch of stupid cocks wanted to hide from something? This is bullshit!

"Answer me, you whimpering little bitch!" Sesshomaru commanded ferociously, almost as if he was going to turn into giant three-legged dog form any second.

"I-I've said too much!" The man stuttered pathetically.

Sesshomaru decided he would jump into the water and look for Jaken and Rin, since they were most likely dicking around under here also, and ask them just what was going on? Hiding? From what? And why was he the only one who doesn't have a clue what's going on? He hopped in and, when he opened his eyes, nothing was there. They had all gotten out! Sesshomaru rose back up and the first thing he heard was a loud roar of cheering. Sesshomaru's sensitive ears couldn't take all the loudness and he screamed out until they stopped. Then he got out.

"Which one of you bastard-assholes is going to explain just what the entire human population of Japan was hiding under the goddamn water for?" roared Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha came out of the crowd.

"Because, up to this point, it had been almost a full year since you got in the water and took a bath." Inuyasha told him bluntly.

"...What?"

"You heard me, Sesshomaru! The last time you took a bath before this was ten months ago! We were planning to do this for weeks and everyone agreed to it, even Naraku! So Kagome brought some plastic breathing tubes and we used a shard of the Jewel to multiply the tubes so that all the people could breathe when we hid under water."

"The Shikon Jewel can clone?"

"Yeah, as it turns out."

(PLOT BENDS, AND WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR YOU!)

"What about the animals and insects?" Sesshomaru asked, almost impressed by the rather elaborate plan.

"Oh, the Shikon Jewel can also make them invisible, as it turns out." Inuyasha said.

(PLOT BENDS, AND WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR YOU!)

"Inuyasha, you almost drove me to psychosis over a bath." Sesshomaru growled, drawing his sword. "Now, I'm going to make you pay."

Before Sesshomaru the Badass can open a (JAPANESE CONTAINER) of whoopass, Jaken and Rin came running out of the crowd.

"No, don't kill him! He was only trying to help!" Rin pleaded, running to the wet Lord.

"Rin-"

"The stench was unbearable! It smelled like a pile of rotten skunks sprayed with that green water Kagome was laying in a tub of when Kikyo was reunited! It reeked like-"

"Okay, Rin, I get it."

Sesshomaru starts walking, vowing that he would someday slaughter Inuyasha for what he did. And, yet, he was also relieved that Japan wasn't stripped of it's population overnight over a disease or a war. Things were back to normal...

Except for the invisible wolf humping Sesshomaru's leg.

THE END!


End file.
